Thursday, April 30, 2009

these photos i took yesterday outside my front door
they were growing
in the cracks of my sidewalk

i love chives
and the purple blossoms that will bloom from them.
later on we will pick them
and eat them:)
nom nom

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


meet my newest little guy
i got him from
pengpengs

she makes all sorts of cute little clay creatures
as well other things ;)
check her out at
www.pengpengs.etsy.com


in other news mooshooopork made front page again!!

and i got me a new NAUGHTY treasury... check it out
click and comment for me ;)



Monday, April 27, 2009

just showing some blog love to a super awesome etsian! hehe ;)
Faeriedtreasures's shop

She is super funny and a well deserving lady!


Her amazingly inspired jewelery is quite unique!

go check out these and a many more
beautiful pieces at
Faeriedtreasures shop

Saturday, April 25, 2009


i sat and watched the cold wind turn to rain
and pour down in heavy drops
i sat and wanted to reach you
but couldnt
i sat there and wondered where to go next
what was right
i sat there and watched the waves crash
hitting against the rocks
i sat there and wished i could tell you things
but you couldnt hear me
i sat there and watched others pass by
watching them watch the shore
i sat there and wanted to tell you
i could be good with you
i sat there and thought of ways
but not sure you even care
i sat there and heard the radio play
and wanted to sing
i sat there till i had to go
back

Saturday, April 18, 2009


ok so ive been slacking in the bloggin dept.
it just seems lately that my mind is wandering off....
and i cant keep up.
ive been having these undeniable urges to go on a trip. Where you ask? who knows?
I just need a break from my everyday..
something completely different
i want to explore
i want to get out there and clear my head
run free
so to speak
this is what my head has been doing..
running free...
thoughts
too many thoughts
haha
i cant get them all straight..
but i know if i can just get out there
just for a few days
ill feel a whole lot better
the drive is getting stronger
so we shall see...

(suitcase by: Get ready set go!!)

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

proof


DSC_05042
Originally uploaded by little papoose
So the wedding went great!!
I actually had more fun then i thought taking pics ...
I do love taking pictures. I am by no means "professional" at it though. Although in the past year i have learned a lot more about it and am excited to keep learning!
ok back to the wedding.. hehe
It was fun! we drove down to Indiana in about a 3 and a half hours.. long trip. The two oldest watches movies on the way down and the baby amused herself pretty well thankfully. We arrived a bit too early to check into our hotel so i had to stop by my grammas house for a quick 10min. change!
... kisses at the door as i ran in and a brief hello as i went straight to her bedroom. Strip down, throw on dress, run to bathroom to pee... stop for a quick hair check and put on some powder and chapstick. ok.. looking halfway decent.. run back out to slip into my black heels grab my pile of clothes... kisses on the way out.. ohyeah and a spin for my grampa.. "do i look like an adult grampa?" i ask as he give me a big "whoa lookin good"!! "hell no!!" he sais .. i laugh kiss him goodbye and run back out the door.
drive to the church took about 10min. I run in and ask if im in the right place... i am .. whew!
They point to a door down the hall and i go in. I found my cousin there just about to put on her undergarments. hehe i grab the camera !! gotta love that im family AND the photographer.. i get all the best shots ;)
I have an awsome one of her getting the dress on.. it involves me and her under the dress as 3 people are holding it above her head and her arms are up and ready... youll have to trust me THIS was an awesome shot! ;) hehe
So i get pics of the girls getting their dresses on and all that that entails.. then i head out to give a hug to the groom and explain what i shall be doing. The pastor talks with me telling me i have "free reign" of where i want to go... and that i can have anything "recreated" if needed.. im so far loving this because.. lets face it ..who wouldnt ! hehe
So as the wedding begins i suddenly notice that the skirt and heels probably werent the best idea. Squatting with your knees together is quite hard especially in high high heels.. (i was about 5"2" in those babies!) but i pull it off ok without flashing anyone!! wahoo.. i glance over to my uncle who is lauging at me cause hes watching to see if i will lose my balance or worse yet...give someone a show ;) haha
but no i did ok and then i realized that i could also just get down on my knees and that works fairly well.. although , yes rug burn can be not so fun.. I get the pics i want and try my best not to be a part of the ceremony. My aunt tells me i did well as they all pile out of the sanctuary and that she giggles at me sneaking about on my knees behind this half wall thingy they had. hah
I took a bunch of pic as folks mingled. Then i was informed that i should go get folks for pictures of the bride and fam. ect. OK so thats where i kinda had to take charge.. dont get me wrong i do well at managing people.. but being family it was kinda odd and funny all at once..
I then announced i needed certain people in the the sanctuary.. everyone filed up and went. hehe. good stuff. I got to direct everyone where i wanted them to stand. i did my best to make sure that straps werent falling and peoples eyes were open. I got some funny shots as well which is quite fitting for the couple and the family involved. So i am pleased.
Reception goes pretty good as well. I got bubbles flying and people running in. i got the crowd involved as well which was just soo much fun.. "ok everyone when they come in i want you to blow bubbles like crazy!! ...ready...go" hahaha and they did!! i loved it.
I went around from table to table getting great shots and laughing and mingling with folks. I do quite well under pressure ..yould never know im not really a "people person" haha. I have a love hate relationship with being social.. but i prevail and makes folks laugh and say cheese and whatnot.
End of the night.. i finally got to put the camera down for a quick dance with my hubby...awwww ! I know it sounds romantice..but no. my # 2 jumps in between us, whines, and goes limp . hahah ok so hubby holds her in one arm and on arm still on me.. totally awkward. ! But my aunt gets a pic of us. and thats that. We head to the hotel ..
by now my feet are numb. and im unaware of the pain my legs will feel the next day.
We get to the hotel.. strip everyone down and jump into our pjs. !! aaahhh time to relax.. wait no. we are in a tiny room with a pullout couch bed for my oldest two and the playpen i opened up for baby.. who now has to sleep halfway in the bathroom so as not to be woken by the two girls who wont sleep. aaaaahhhh
"go to bed" i say in the best mom voice i can muster. after hubby ran out and got me some gross fast food to eat, We turn off the lights and my body is oh so tired. I try to sleep but no... hubbys snoring, girls are tossing and turning. Baby wakes up twice in the wee hours of the AM. ... Finally rest comes... i sleep a whole 3 hours and then the girls are running around our bed. haha
Then we get ready to go home. !!

Friday, April 10, 2009

nemesis...


today i opened my door to see a little package on my front step...
I immediately started ribbing through it to see what it was. haha. as soon as i opened the box i smelled these sweet scents....
hurray!! it was my sample pack from Nemesis Productions!!

I cant wait to try them.. they are cute little samples of a few kinds of her nom nom soap. serioulsy you almost want to eat them. hehe
but dont

She is a super sweet lady and i have been wanting to buy some soap from her for while. I finally got my butt in gear and we worked out some thing i might want to try. (seeing as im super picky about soap)

Now i cant wait to go bathe!!
to order your own... go to www.nemesisproductions.etsy.com

Thursday, April 9, 2009

*sigh*

ive got to get it out of me
these tears are falling too fast it seems

here we go again.....

Monday, April 6, 2009

IMG_1419 cemetary


IMG_1419
Originally uploaded by little papoose
on our way home this weekend we decided to stop by this small cemetary...
It was such a cold spring day. the wind hit you to your bones and you just wanted to stay inside. i decided after being cooped up in the car for a few hours we should get out.
so me and my oldest took walk through the cemetary. the graves there were mostly from the 1800s. They were beautiful..
The earth had shifted and not one of them was perfectly straight.. some propped up with stones..others sinking. Some were almost completely buried. The slabs on the ground were in such random places. Folks placed in every direction!
I always loved going to places like this.... such a beautiful sadness to it all.


(for more pics of old headstones click the pic)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

this weekend

So this weekend i have a wedding to attend. My cousins...well its actually a "renewing of vows" but its everything a big wedding is... they got married 2 yrs. ago and he shipped off to Iraq 3 months later.. he just got back this march!! so even though theyve been married for 2 yrs. now they have only been together about 4months!! crazy i know!
Anywho.. we are going to Indiana for the big shindig. I was asked to be "wedding photographer". It was nice of her to ask me because i do love my photography..and of coarse i said yes! absolutely!! Only now im hoping i get it right. By no means a pro. but im hoping to get down some key shots and hope everyone looks good in the process...
speaking of looking good... I had to get a dress. something that fit me and made me look halfway decent because being the "photographer" i will not be able to hide out in the background. So i went out with hubby and kids in tow and found me a purdy little dress!! I am happy with it. and happy that it fits me well! *pulls hair up, puts on some black heals* There! now im ready..
just hope i dont fall over trying to shoot people or worse yet! flash someone while crouching? hmmm nothing says" hi nice to meet you im with the bride" like a short skirt and flashing some knickers! haha
ok all wish me luck ...

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

another sad ish day....

it sneaks up on me
and tears can fill my eyes
not thinking you were in my head
the last thing on my mind

even something funny
can bring on something sad
i want to scream
its just not fair
i want what i once had

my heart aches
why wont it stop
i wish i felt much less

but theres a hole
i need to fill
somewhere inside this mess

and another day goes by
he sais it will take time
he sais i got a crack in my heart
but some day i will feel fine

he told me that its hard for you
told me things affect you too
told me that ill have to wait
told me that its not too late

as i lean on him
i hope hes right
and he wipes my tears
another night...