5painful truths

top 5 worst bits :

1. i promise no matter what ... apparently meant i promise until i get what i want and im done

2. i wanted to build you up so that you have that much farther to fall when i drop you.

3. i wanted to show you how precious you are to me. then tell you i wouldnt take you if you were the last person on earth

4. i had you repeat your all mine. and then left you there with no one to turn to

5. i wanted you to be completely honest and exposed to me. so i in turn could lie and then watch your pain

me photography

you may or may not know that i am on flickr

my photography is there

mixed in with goods from my shops

and random bits of whatever i please

this year i am going to try and

grow

i bit more in my skills

play around with that i can do

You may have noticed my flickr

shrunk?

a bit

haha well i have decided to go underground

so to speak

hide myself

while i do love being the center of

one persons attention

i dont like so much

to be everyones.

too many eyes on me and i shrink back

into the shadows

in hopes that they move on

so there you have it

just my photography and less me

win win i say

and i hope you all enjoy :)

valentines at moosh

theres love at MOOSHOO

and its ready for the taking

from hearts on a string

to the little girls dressing up in their cutest

sweetheart dresses

and not just love

but a little ...

FOREPLAY?

these naughty fun dice are just perfect!

earthquake

i stared at the words

the words

i hated them

its like somehow they reached into my chest

and pulled out my heart

i lost my breath

i didnt know what to say

seems nothing

and even if i did it wouldnt have mattered

thats the part that just killed

fast forward:

________________

grrrrrrr!

im mad the adrenaline is pumping

i want to scream

i want to rage

where did this come from?

and so quickly brought on

i cant believe how much you can hurt me

i need a release

i want to run out into the cold air

i want to scream out into the blackness

i want to ...

fast forward:

_____________________

slow deep breaths

mentally tell myself its ok

try and get a grip on things

(silly cause as soon as i get one your there again prying my fingers off)

close my eyes

more deep breaths

ok

...

the adrenaline has slowed a bit

i find myself wanting

i find myself wishing to run to place where i dont have to think about it

only the place i want to run

is gone

so now im just wanting

.....

fast forward:

_______________________

eyes swollen from tears

head a little achy

i want to sleep

for days

till the feeling goes

but then again

days might not be long enough

2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2010

for everyone of us

there is something good

and something not so appealing

we are all in this together

so remember to love

as much as you can

and give all of yourself

hug everyone you meet

tell people you love just how much

and forgive

It was a nice suprise to wake up last day of 2009

and find id made the etsy storque

and that the treasury i made (get through)

made it to front page!

i always love putting them together

and most always i put a message inside

like tiny criptic ways

of putting thoughts in my head

out into the world

or in this case... etsy ;)

hehe

some of you know this

ive seen you comment on them

or message me in such a way

its nice

and this year i am greatful for etsy

seems silly to be thankful for an online site

but it has brought me to know people i like

and to be able to give to others

in a way

pieces of me :)

....

i am greatful for so much this past year

my children and family

for love

for grace and compassionate people

i am thankful for patience

and wish i had more ;)

just so much really..

this past year i was able to travel a bit

and im SO greatful for that

so many adventures

i cant wait to see what is brought my way

in this new year!!

so Christmas this year was nice..

my oldest two came in about 7 am

to inform me that our presents had arrived

and stockings filled!

i stumbled out of bed and we all came out to the living room

giggles of excitement followed

as they eyed all the goods once again

we opened stockings

baby was not so amused with unwrapping gifts

even the shiny bows didnt seem to amuse her

instead she sat on her presents and watched us

haha

Then it was time for the gifts under the tree!

there wasnt tons

but i was very happy this year that my oldest two

were able to pick out gifts themselves for everyone in the family

i want them to see the enjoyment of giving to others

and they did!!

they were so excited to have us open the handmade bits

and things they picked out from the store!

we oohed and ahhhhed at all the goodness :)